Playwright

2008-11-04T14:00:00.000+08:00

2008-07-17T12:59:00.002+08:00

Call It Yours

I try so hard to let you take control
when i'm out there facing the crowd
But my pride and my sin have got me praising myself
though i don't wana let you down

And i try and i try and i try
But i need you here [x2]

[hook]

I look at myself in the mirror everyday
tryna figure out just what to change
And do all i can to look beyond my face
into what you want me to be

And i look and i look and i look
But i need you here [x2]

[hook]

When i walk in the shadow of the wings of your spirit
i can't help but speak the truth
Though i can feel every struggle every pain inside
i know that i can trust in you

And i walk and i walk and i walk
But i need you here [x2]

[hook]

hook:

Would you find me
Would you save me
Tell me everything is gonna be alright
Would you take me
Would you use me
Take my life on earth and call it yours

Amen

2008-06-30T23:30:00.003+08:00

Let Him Be

let him be your dream let him be your wish
let him be your deepest fantasy
you can strive to be who you wana be
seize the opportunity cos you're meant to be free

every single day im still caught in the game
// still got the stress in my brain, tryna deal with the pain
// memories from the past // and the scars left behind by the cuts
// trying not to fall, tryna brave it all, trying to say to god
// you're my all, you're my everything
// please take this song that i sing as an offering
// and i know that you sold your son as a ransom
with his death on the cross you bought me my freedom
// how can i call myself a product of the system
when you planned for me to be a part of your kingdom
// seems kinda bizarre to me
reaching out to the masses in the 21st century
// ministry over industry
// and my people infected by the media, deadly bacteria
// in the form of sublime messages psychologically eating ya
// and we all care about the money and the profits
// don't take the time to listen to the prophets
// and we all love the rich, but the search for the truth should be brought to the kids

[h]

i'm at war with the spirit that got you onto drugs
turned my sisters into freaks and my brothers into thugs
// never letting go of what they must
// but god has given me faith to play my part
// and today i'm at war with the spirit that said you couldnt do it
i'm at war with the spirit that told you you were stupid
// we are fallible but god is so holy
he knows we are worthy and we can be holy
// and i'm proud to be his servant
// and i'm ready for the age of the serpent satan and the seven-headed dragon
that shook the foundations of this nation and caused us to falter as christians
// i know that this mission is hard but i got love for the people
// caught in the struggle
// tryna find the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle
// and they say that they wana win the battle
// i need yall to see that this is more than a hobby
// this is spiritual more than physical
and you can ask the lord jesus christ to take you to another level, if only you...

[h]

2008-04-26T00:10:00.006+08:00

Riding with my top down, listening to this Jesus Muzik....

Interesting flipmag, an introduction to Christ.
If you feel someone needs an intro to Him, check this out! -----> Read this b4 you die

2008-04-07T14:30:00.001+08:00

damn man....

2008-04-05T00:31:00.005+08:00

never mind the waste i'll cut to the chase
i received a new life, a new face
still in the rat race back at the workplace
but never second place cos i trust in God's grace
make no mistake on the path that i take
i will proclaim his name to the end of my time
like them saints burned at the stake
you call this a safe place a chaste place
it's becoming more of a disgrace
sipping coffee at the table putting pounds on my waist
wondering if i'm doing enough for my faith
for all the souls that lost their way in the marketplace
dear Lord help them, help them father i pray
I know you sold your son as a ransom
through his death on the cross bought me my freedom
so how can i call myself a product of the system
when you planned for me to be different
unorthodox following the path to salvation
to bring your love to a christ-deficient nation
you never ration the love and affection
you shower upon your children
forever i'm grateful i'm proud to be your servant
if i got a choice i'd work full time in my ministry
don't doubt me i'm a fallible man but god is holy
what he brings me i try to fulfill my duty
i need yall to see that this is more than a hobby
bring the peace to the streets kicking frees
bring the heat on the beats telling cats they got the right to be free

2008-04-04T13:58:00.003+08:00

Corey Red giving glory to the Lord.

we comin' out

throw ya hands

conviction spittin' (free mixtape download @ holy culture)

2008-03-31T00:47:00.001+08:00

Much reason to give glory to God.

Testing out my new keyboard

2008-03-08T23:44:00.001+08:00

check check testing, new keyboard... texture's fine, nice tension on the buttons, nice feel, all the keys are evenly and comfortably spaced out. awesome. chea.

2008-01-31T20:55:00.000+08:00

school's been really busy. thankful that i have my free day today. been feeling lacklustre and uninterested in school though it started, can't find any motivation or inspiration to shift gears yet but prolly in a while, hopefully everything will be better. i feel like i'm on overdrive in my faith, 3 days a week commitment is not fun lol. tue belongs to excess, wed to nus css and now sun's for ctk cat class youth. but i thank god for it. it's a push to build me spiritually and to share my life and his love to the people i'll come into contact with. i guess he wants me to make a difference. still thinking about the possible purposes he has for me in css. interesting. now it's back to one post a week lol.

2007-12-27T01:56:00.001+08:00

just a little look on the past year and every time i do that time always seems to fly. life is so damn short. it's been a great few months lately, from exams to cell to exces camp to bangkok to perming my hair to christmas. been real hectic but nevertheless somewhat fruitful. the best christmas gift i can ever have would be the experiences i've enjoyed. the camp set things straight and bangkok was famliy time. it's now time to fly off to hong kong for the first time. and also celebrating new year's on the plane when i arrive back the midnight of the 1st of jan. awesome. i'm so thankful i passed the exams. thought i would've done better in jap studies but what turned out was still satisfactory. thank god for the family, friends and the fellowship. been a hell long time since i signed in at blogger. merry cheers for the birth of jesus!

2007-10-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

My Love is vengeance that's never free....

No one bites back as hard on their anger...

My dreams they aren't as empty...

As my conscience seems to be...

Was just randomly scrolling edward's blog and realised i havent listened to "behind blue eyes' for a real long time. It's a good song to listen to when you're feeling down and out and all emo. but yea it was nice listening to it. Kinda grimey and dark the way the words are phrased, can be fitted into a religious context as well. Sometimes you gotta control your anger, when you feel pinned down, and you gotta hang on to that goal you've always been striving toward. Let go of the grudges that hold you back and not let it tie you down, and be free to serve. Interesting, seems everything is gonna climax at a certain point very soon, in the light of things that are to take place.

2007-09-14T17:43:00.001+08:00

I've reminisced and realised that i've lost alot of battles in my life. Especially during the JC era. The only battle i'm determined to win is the battle i'm fighting for God. Please don't judge me, nor hate on me, cos i don't expect all of you to understand. What can be described as my goal is radical, a revolution of sorts that i'm not willing to let go. A new rebellion if you would call it. I know i just gotta have faith and it'll work out a few years down the road.

2007-09-09T01:55:00.001+08:00

this blogging thing seems to have become a monthly routine, a regimented style of typing and a constant rehearsing of words in my head before it comes out on the plate, appearing as how it should be. apparently i'm trying to lengthen this post as much as i can by typing totally random lines.

then again, i think about the purpose of blogging. i've heard people say, get over yourself, a blog should be a place to discuss issues, like philosophical ones, say for example, are men really slave to women? or in the environmental context, how can we get people to buy more non-plastic bags which can be used over and over again? well i used to secretly subscribe to that school of thought, but somehow never really let it manifest itself in my entries as i come back to the root of the word 'blog'. it's a short form for the term weblog. and to me it's a log of my life, an online one, and therefore not the most private but still a sort of journal. but i guess everyone's entitled to what kind of log we would want our blogs to be. for me i'll prolly have a little of both. i just like putting things down for the record. to have a sort of memory of the things that happen in my daily encounter with events, people and emotions. when i hit the replay button, every sense and feeling gleamed from those mentioned events would burst into the crevasses of my mind and i feel myself floating back into history, reliving the past, whether good or bad, and letting them make deeper their impression on me first conceived.

anyway.... i had a good birthday celebration today and i really appreciated the company of Rough Diamond INC royalty, friends, relatives and eXcess: the chosen. i have to thank God for the wonderful groups of people he has walked into my life, and setting them on the same path that i journey. i reminisce and it is amazing to see how friends change since the first time of meeting. really amazing life is. and i gotta thank my mom for having contacted the caterer which provided good and palatable food on the table. reasonably priced. suited for the occasion. looking back on the cards and presents i received, i can't help but feel loved. appreciated. and thought of. something touching to me which stirred up emotions. maybe the very idea of being loved resides far in the back of my mind, but it meant alot to me. the very presence of yall was enough, substantiated by the messages and expressive words. THANK YOU. can't say it any better i guess lol....

and it's quite amazing how two separate friends sent me a text which was not meant for me, and the contents were represented by a desire to throw me a surprise for my birthday. how sweet! lol. now that i know, the game's gonna get a little trickier. but i'll keep my heart open. no worries. i'll cyall soon.

2007-08-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i last blogged. Well alot has happened the past month or so. I finally managed to get my place in NUS. I must thank God for making that happen. I appealed the first time and i got rejected, and the second time my mom and i managed to arrange for an interview with the admissions side and after that i got the green light. That was really an anxious period of time for me. Waiting on the world to give me a future, or throw me an empty hand with which to spin my web. Oh well that's all over and i'm really glad. This week marks the official start of my tertiary education, been through 2 lectures already and gonna go for one at 2pm later. I must say i had a good orientation before this. It was called the O week. For some obvious reason it was also known as the Big O. ha. Yea it was a blast, stayed over in campus (no longer camp) from mon to wed and fri to sat. My OG was great. Met people like adeleine, vicky, kern, william, jiamin, stacey, rachel, jeraldine, sharon, peiling, xie ai, shi duan, ting ting, kai jian, kian boon, huimin, xinyi and a whole lot more like the other OGLs and AOGLs. Props to them for the enthusiasm and friendship we fostered.

One more thing i have to be thankful for is the successful bidding for my modules. Let me just list them for the record. I got
Introduction to Communications and New Media,
Introduction to Japanese Studies,
The Nature of Language,
Introduction to Social Work and
Singapore Society.
I've already been for CNM and English lectures and it's so good so far. Now it's just to see how the remaining subjects catch on. But i'm really glad it's bringing on a positive experience.

Guess what, i went for floorball trials yesterday evening, woa it was killer. we did sprints and a couple of drills similar to hockey training. I felt so drained after that. i havent perspired so much in ages. Anyway thanks to vicky, rachel and kern who dropped by. I don't regret going for the try outs now! ha. I'm considering joining BLAST, which is the NUS Hiphop dance club. Will be heading for their welcome tea tmr, and i hope it'll be great. It's just the auditions i'm worried about. I can't do shit. The only thing i can do is a baby freeze, which is pathethic. In dance you gotta be able to freestyle. Shit i'm hoping i won't embarass myself if i do go for the auditions.
The only other cca i see myself joining is ODAC. I can't make my mind up for now. I'll just see how things go.

On a sidenote, yesterday marked the 2nd anniversary of EXCESS' existence, time has passed so quickly and we're already 2 years old! Amazing innit? Well keep strong folks, and we'll keep to our vision in 4 years' time.

2007-07-13T15:09:00.000+08:00

Well it's now time to do more printing for the mixtape covers. a good 45 more to go. but i'm pretty happy how it turned out, minus all the underlying issues we had and the effort we had to put in. it's pretty amazing what one can produce at the comfort of our home. and it's semi-professional i'd say. pretty cool. at one time i thought it wasn't possible but i guess it's just me not keeping up to date with technology in this aspect. ha. anyway i'll be going for the PALME ASIA exhibition at EXPO tmr. it's finally here again. the premier sound and lighting exhibition in the region. with international companies. can't wait to take a look at the music gadgets on display and the new concepts which have evolved. the last one i visited was in '05. pretty long ago. so once again i'm glad i have the opportunity to go in my free time. no more army to keep me away :)

and yea and for those who don't know, my place in NUS is not confirmed! that's like breaking news to most people cos all the while i thought i had already accepted the place and been telling yall that i have a place. well the truth is that i overlooked the part where i was supposed to go online during a stipulated period to accept the offer. and i didnt lol. that happened like two years ago. damn man. i already sent in an appeal for re-instatement and am currently awaiting their reply. will go down soon to talk to the folks at NUS. if not i'll prolly be working for a about a year before re-applying for the next intake, or get an advanced diploma at SOMA or SAE in the meanwhile and work on my music. feeling real silly for not controlling the future i had in my hands. shit happens and shit happened.

ok anyway i'd like to wish Jeremy and Chris a very happy birthday!!! pretty cool both of them have the same birthday. once again, God bless you in your journey.

randomly did this for fun cos i saw it on daphne's blog. i got the same results.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

2007-07-07T02:07:00.000+08:00

Be on the lookout for this. Rough Diamond Inc. bringing the heat and turning it up on singapore hiphop. mixtape dropping real soon. get at me if yall want a copy. chea... appreciate the support yall have given, yall know who you are. Biggups to my fam, Gerrit and Aaron for tying down the logistics part of everything which requires supreme effort, real heartfelt thanks, Sam for his creative input and Harland for dropping the heat through dope music. REPRESENT.

2007-06-26T09:18:00.000+08:00

cool i ORD today. woot. i'm now in camp. waiting for the relevant people to sign my clearance, am excited to see my pink ic. finally i can breathe a sigh of relief.

2007-06-18T10:43:00.000+08:00

it's monday, which means it's my last working day in camp, and i'll be clearing leave till the 26th when i head back to receive my dearly missed pink IC. i just realised something funny. the formation badge on my uniform is inverted HAHAHA. i now remember why. at last friday's eXcess meeting, Nat took it out and pasted it upside down (thanks ah nat). and i forgot to put it back. luckily i didnt get eff-ed for that since nobody noticed.

well i'd like to congratulate the confirmants from eXcess, nat, celesther, terence, eugene, amanda and celestine who graduated from sunday school last evening at the confirmation mass. CONGRATS! i wish you all the best in your journey with God. continue to have faith and carry on strong, whether in eXcess or in some place else in the future when yall grow older or sth. no one said christianity is a breeze cos they know it isn't, but we'll always be there for you aight?

overtime's coming up and the response we got was hmm.....ok but not fantastic. the postcards were a hit but whether they make it down remains to be seen. lucky thing we found a really good and friendly printing shop which had the right price and materials we needed for doing the necessary. will prolly use their services in the long run. chea.

now i can finally start thinking about and planning what i wana do after i OH ARE DEE.... let me just list a few...
first up: clean my room (this is such a gargantuan task). it's in such a mess i'm thinking of doing a before and after comparison by taking videos and snapshots of my room.
then i'll form up an exercise routine,
fill in an application form for Life! bookshop at J8 and start working there,
go for driving lessons,
read all the books i bought about faith and christianity,
buy my mixer (or rather my fam) over the weekend Pioneer DJM 909!
pimp up my board cos the wheels are too heavy,
buy a new chair from IKEA,
meet up with SJI friends,
meet up with Stuart,
rahul?
meet up with my cous Reubs,
meet up with others,
meet up with the people i was sposed to meet up recently (Andrea and Jeremy Heng!),
go over to matt's place to record (cos i havent got the freaking software)
write,
spin,
get new styli,
practice for a potential spot at spinning for CTK's event?
watch Fantastic Four (aaron and gerrit will prolly laugh at this),
sun tan,
get ready for OVERTIME,
Not to forget Quiet Time,
and prolly a whole lot more.....like REST.....
pretty good mix of short, mid and long term goals....
now i know where my heart is. chea.

haha shitloads.....

2007-06-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

aight second up is eXcess' own event. it's happening on the 23rd june from 2.30 to 6pm at Christ the King church at ang mo kio. we gonna be having food, fun, music, teaching. our virgin Overtime 2007. check it out, chea..... credits to julia for the dope designs.... postcard flyers going ooooouuuttttttttt!

2007-06-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

alright gotta get some publicity going on round here.....

first up is Singapore's Biggest B-Boying event in recent years. check out the flyer. it'll be happening at the Heerens.........

2007-06-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

alright i dont know where this surge of anger came up from and i was totally pissed last night. i might have been a bit sensitive. well the fact is i was totally lost not knowing how to proceed and go on and i asked for help. noone seemed to bother, all were too caught up in conversations. so the reason you have it, i got pissed. it's the really small things that i observe and see that makes me uncomfortable for some reason. ok maybe it is my responsibility to take care of the issues in my own department and i sincerely apologise, but that doesnt mean i'm experienced handling it. politics will always be there. it will forever exist and it is shitty sometimes. even in a small group so many things can happen. humans are well, complex and simple at the same time. alright so i've thought of some stuff and i got the prompting i should keep this sun's event plain and simple. i went back to the poolside last night to reflect about the day's events. i did get some ideas but am somehow facing a block. i hope i get over that obstacle soon so i can let my creative juices flow. i hope the group dynamics would improve. i aint expecting much, nor am i optimistic. i mean i can't change the world til i'm changed myself. thought i already am changed, it'll take a while more before i can start progressing again.

2007-05-18T10:33:00.000+08:00

Ok it's been some time since i actually wrote stuff on my life lol...

well to say the least, worship on tues was screwed up and undeservingly so. I had to lead worship, and eddy played along. it was distracting cos the timing and harmonisation was off. and that's cos we didnt practice together, but we weren't supposed to play together. but we learn. it was the driest worship session and i'm sorry folks for being a part of that cause. it affected the mood badly. everyone was in a spiritual low. there was no energy source for the rest to "drink" from. after that ed, nick, jo and i met up to reflect on the session. jo said worship is when you give your best to god. something which you should be ready and confident to do. that only comes about when your spirituality was in check. mine wasn't. thing is i could have stopped eddy from accompanying me on the guitar, but i didnt. well, it was a turning point for all of us. and it did make me reflect deeply. i've never thought of excess as something which would be a part of the rest of my life. but i realised it was gonna be. and my responsibility has just increased, in my own eyes. now i know what i'm up against, salvation is only realised when you know what God wants you to do. and you keep to it. the responsibility of his calling is great, but having surrendered, i rest assured he'll guide me.

i was attending mass at holy cross yesterday, and the readings in the missal were relevant to what i just described above. the second reading was taken from Eph 1:17-23, and the gospel, Luke 24:46-53. both talked about witnessing.

well that's exactly what i need, i thought to myself, listening to Fr Richards' sermon. he said, we are the only people Jesus Christ has for bringing his love to the world. the most powerful force in the universe is Love not hatred (which seems so prevalent in the world). the most powerful force is also Life, not death (which is everywhere). He said everyone is yearning for some meaning, something to look forward to after one dies. people want a happy ending to a story. when god asked jesus, so are the apostles the only people you have to carry on the faith? jesus said yes, they are the only ones. Then god replied, you don't have a backup plan? Jesus said no, if they don't do it, it doesn't get done. and that's who we are, the apostles who are the only hope jesus has left in bringing salvation to the masses. well word up to that. thus, i felt that i was blessed with something more important, more significant which i originally thought was less. therefore it's a great responsibility to be christian. it's hard no doubt. when the people closest to you are the hardest to reach out to. and hardest to talk about faith. but if the shepherd is willing to forego the rest of the 100 sheep just to look for the one lost one, how much more important it is for us to reach out to those who are severely blinded.

this is obviously a religious post, no offence intended to anyone else reading it.

2007-05-07T23:42:00.000+08:00

these are some videos of Dj Hi C. some crazy dude from Osaka with mad skills.

2007-05-07T23:32:00.001+08:00

all about the army...

2007-04-25T10:23:00.000+08:00

alright i'm blogging more than usual. that's cos there's nothing to do right now (getting ready to hear some comments coming from the excess peeps lol). i've got a testimony, that my colleague just became a christian and accepted Jesus Christ as his personal lord and saviour. i'm very glad for him. he told me his search began when he felt he desired something more real with a meaning and purpose in it. he has just joined a cell group at a church he always went to, in the company and guidance of his aunt. that's something to be happy about. it's best to fill the emptiness that we all at certain points in our lives have. i'm really happy for him. he'll drop by soon for excess. that's a another reason to cheer for. woot woot. chea...

2007-04-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

"hmm you know i didnt mean to sound angry like i did, with that text. plus when she called last weekend when i played soccer at nus high she apologised she couldnt make it, and that she's already in the process of inviting more folks. that's if i assumed correctly. i mean i really meant nothing angsty, i guess i was little too excited. cos when i saw you, you were quite eager to 'set things straight'. really sorry if you got the wrong idea. didnt mean to. and when i walked past you i didnt say hi because you weren't looking lol, you were looking a little stressed in my opinion, and so we walked right past each other during the taking of the host. in addition i was stoned, and my face when stoned, looks like a pokerface. sorry man didnt mean to. anyway looking forward to seeing both of yall down, together with others next tue or sth. there'll be a special worship leader coming down on labour day, a lawyer whom in mel's opinion helped to build his faith greatly. looking forward. it'll great for yall to experience it."

alright that's just my emo self talking. the ultra sensitive things i'd debate and evaluate within my rancid brain.

2007-04-25T09:52:00.000+08:00

i heard form eddy that we're clubbing this friday with the same people from excess, mel, nick, chris, tim, eddy joyce and myself. hmm i havent thought of what to get eddy for his birthday, and i know he won't read my blog cos he has problem seeing white and black. so does ec. they it's a genetic thing.
and i booked my basic theory lessons on sat morning 8am. it's gonna be a chore to wake up. oh well. i'm used to staying out late on sat nights and waking up at 7 plus am on sun mornings to go for mass. my sat mornings are normally used to lessen my sleep debt, oh well it should be alright.
matt's coming back to the hood thurs night, will be looking forward to see him again. he had to be confined for 3 weeks, when normally it's just 2 weeks. it's been a long time lol. was talking to him the other night over loudspeaker via the mobile and he was saying it was shitty inside. don't the males who have been conscripted know that already. but it makes us more of a man. something that other people would otherwise not understand.
he was thinking of pushing for a downgrade cos it's hurting his back, i'd encourage him to go through the whole phase but it might cause him more trouble, then again see how the events go. on a brighter note, we might be able to perform at esplanade. that's a good prospect. will discuss our plans with him when we meet up. rough diamond has since gone low-key. i gotta get back to louis first about the demos and all. this time round, i'm hoping it will materialise unlike our missed chance at bumblebeez. that really sucked dick. oh well, let's wait for the first spark to get us going. i know everyone back at RDI has been rather sad at the slowing down of pace, the valuable contacts we've made, and the people we've met up with, our hopes were pinned really high. all we can do now is rethink the steps we're taking and gonna take, although i don't know what the level of enthusiasm is right now.
hmm anyone's got a good deal on recording sofware for MACs please get at me. i've setup my sound-proofing foam, got my condenser and firewire interface, but the software i got can't make the cut. was thinking of using bootcamp and install windows so i can use cool edit but i ain't go SP2, plus thinking about it now, i'd rather not install windows and keep it a full-fledged macintosh monster and let it stay true to its name, reputation and potential.

2007-04-25T09:19:00.000+08:00

Botak jones was great! haha damn. my stomach still hasnt shrunk from yesterday even though i dropped bombs already. anyway went with my cell yesterday to the botak branch somewhere in ang mo kio. tim and i had a double botak meal which is, a double inch thick beef patty burger with fries and slaw. it was delicious. jem and edward had the chili dawg meals and it looked more delicious than the double botak lol... the dawg was huge. oh well had a great meal. we went to play battlefield after that, not bad, had some fun but my eyes hurt after that. ha. i'll prolly play ball and go to the gym later (need to get those pounds off) cos all the officers aren't in today. they got a retreat at sentosa. woot. looking forward to a good day.

2007-04-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

why do they all end up there. lol. it's the second already.

2007-04-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

that was a bit of a rush lol... man, feels good to have eaten. am listening to some internet radio and i'd recommend www.1.fm great radio, so many different stations ranging from trance, club, 80s, hiphop..... it's my next best non-living companion when i'm on duty. alright will update and pick up where i left off again. getting ready to sleep.

2007-04-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

It's 9pm. i have office duty to fulfill this evening and a couple of us just ordered food from mac's. best thing is the delivery time is estimated at 1.5 hours. that's an uber long wait. and i'll prolly sleep in the office tonight. woot. i feel so lethargic. just searched for some multimedia business speakers and studio monitors that i wana purchase. then again it's gon' be tight on my pocket. ha. oh well. everyone's staying late tonight cos there's gonna be a big event tmr, somewhat a seminar, a symposium, and seems like most are rushing their work. understandable. i'm feeling so numb to the extent that i'm just going on and on lol.....damn....i just can't wait to eat.

just remembered i was supposed to attend julia's vocal lessons at edward's place, but turned out everyone else couldnt make it as well. great timing folks. i don't wana miss out on the technicalities. and i havent been practicing the do's re's and mi's and going from do to mi over an interval. it's cool, i think it'll do excess alot of good. cos our singing sucks for sure lol and we need the help we're getting from julia and i really appreciate it!

Hmm i wonder how matt is doing in camp. another day before he books out. everyone's enlisting now, matt, jeremy norfor and melvin. it just reminds me how fast time flies....oh shit the delivery guy just called!!!!!! lol.......laters.........

2007-04-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since i last updated my blog. it's been a hectic schedule before this but i must say Exhaustified 07 was a blast! it was great, exhilarating and tiring. but overall the group grew closer and i'm glad for that. daphne's birthday celebration was awesome, daisy was pleasantly surprised at hers and we went to MOS for melvin's. crazy but awesome.

it feels a tad weird updating my blog after having not been doing it regularly, i'm getting it back slowly. now i'm pondering what to say. so much has happened. you know i was just talking with sam the other day and i told him i dreamt about her again and i woke up feeling terrible. what a start it was to that day! damn man... and he said, don't tell me you haven't gotten over her !!??

yea i must say i'm amazed as well. things have kept me off thinking about that and friends have rallied me on but at the end of the day i come back to the realisation that even if you hold onto it for the slightest moment it still eats you up entirely, whenever it comes back and it's crazy. i'm wondering why i haven't managed to totally give it up, why? it's just plain crazy.

But you know i always thank God for blessing me all the way. from calling on me to organise exhuastified, to letting me become celestine's godfather, to just being able to live day to day knowing i've got a purpose and without the support i've received i'd prolly be feeling the same emptiness i did before. i look back and i see how my eyes have opened up to a whole new perspective. the affirmations i've received compound the faith i have and have kept it growing.

that's the kind of post you get when i don't blog in a very long while lol...
Hmm... i just finished eating a taiwanese pastry my boss bought from taiwan, it's delicious. too bad i'm putting on weight. ha.

on a sidenote, i'm looking forward to my ORD which is in 9 weeks' time. Finally i can count down in terms of weeks! technically speaking i've got 8 weeks left to serve in camp, with 4 days of leave, and two short weeks given the Labour day and vesak day public holidays. soon man. woot.

so this is my virgin post for april. and it's already the 19th. enjoy.

2007-03-12T21:11:00.000+08:00

Here are lyrics i wrote for a rap for Excess' Exhibition coming up on the 25th of Mar 07. I wrote it to the "Believe" beat, an instrumental i made about 4 days ago. chea.

//Hook X2//

Carry on, every time that you wana backslide
Carry on, cos He's always been there by your side
Don't ever fear death cos there's more to life
In this modern world God is ever so alive

//1st Verse//

A duty to fulfill life is calling, something beyond the meanings
superficial words bring

Destiny awaits ahead, i lay awakeAnd i think about the chances
that i would take, or that i would waste

Getting to know more about my faith, to step out and to seek His face
Everyday when i'm caught in a daze, i'm so amazed

By the things He has done, and i know that He loves this place
And all the people over here that He wants to grace

But our arrogance has gone a long way,
In putting down the greatest name of all time
Don't let it fade from the back of your minds

Walk through the shadow of the valley of death
Through the trials and tribulations, don't you ever be scared

With His staff, with the blood by the grace of the lamb
He will carry you in His hands

//Hook X2//

//2nd verse//

It's not hard to see what is wrong with this world
It's not hard to see that the ones that we hurt
Are the ones that we love, what is wrong with this world
The treasures of this earth

Has given so many things to die for, what for?
When God has blessed me with things that i could live for?

I'm thankful...for the struggle for it gave me things to fight forLove, friendship, life and it's questions

What is God about? Trying to be a christian
I tried so hard to be true to myself
Tried so hard to refues any help

Hoping the troubles we see will soon be overAnd the joys to come from the Lord will last forever...
Last forever...
Last forever...

Check this out!

2007-03-02T17:57:00.000+08:00

Check this out!

This monster of a bike makes the term Monster Truck sound outdated.

2007-02-27T13:06:00.000+08:00

Very apt description of the meaning of living.

whatup whatup

2007-02-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

It's been 11 days since i last blogged ha. pretty long time huh? Ok ok sorry menreet lol. I got to talk to ya today! That's better ain't it? i didnt realise the lyrics had the war theme behind them til i really paid attention. here are the lyrics.........

are you going to scarborough fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,
(a hill in the deep forest green)
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
(tracing of sparrow on snow-crested brown)
Without no seams nor needle work,
(blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain)
Then she'll be a true love of mine.
(sleeps unaware of the clarion call)

Tell her to find me an acre of land,
(on the side of a hill a sprinkling of leaves)
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
(washes the grave with silvery tears)
Between the salt water and the sea strand,
(a soldier cleans and polishes a gun)
Then she'll be a true love of mine.
(sleeps unaware of the clarion call)

Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather,
(war bellows blazing in scarlet battalions)
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
(general order their soldiers to kill)
And gather it all in a bunch of heather,
(and to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten)
Then she'll be a true love of mine.

Are you going to scarborough fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

Props for sending the mp3 and lyrics. it's pretty disturbing now to hear the echoey voices in the background singing lines such as 'war bellows blazing in scarlet battalions'. dont know what these fuckers are tryna do with their song. all some subliminal bullshit. disturbing and pretty sick. literally... oh well........

So i'd like to heave a sigh of relief after fund-raising yesterday at Christ the king church. we raised ALOT of money. Thanks to God. We'll be having another fund-raising event next week but i got a feeling it wont be as good unless we come up with something radical and unique. we'll see what our brains have to offer. in meantime, thanks to the excess folks for putting so much blood and sweat into our activities. God Bless you.

On a different note,
Now i'm stuck on office duty. and i've got 2 more coming up on thurs and fri. shit.
Today signals that i've got exactly 4 months left to go on the army road. It's been a long time, much has passed quickly, but there's still alot of colour yet to be seen i presume. The boon or bane of our existence, it's up to the soldier (male or female) to learn what he/she can from this 2 years of what i would call a lack of freedom. i've learnt alot, been through alot, thought about certain people alot, argued alot, smoked alot, reflected alot, praised alot and gained a whole lot more as a whole.
It has opened my eyes to the motherfucking world. to different faces each with signature behaviours. Recollected some memories not worth digging up, but hey when we all bring our woes to the table, the circle of friendship becomes stronger. conflicts make us stronger, for all who have given up their support for me, i don't blame you. For what is left, a group of renegades will rise to the occasion, and the ring of fire no longer becomes a drinking game. ha. sorry couldn't help myself :)

EXCESS, ROUGH DIAMOND INC, NUS baby. The future is ready to explode in my face.

Scarborough Fair

2007-02-15T15:01:00.000+08:00

Alright since i had nothing much to do i decided to check up on the song 'Scarborough Fair', as menreet suggested i checked it out lol....

Ok so i wikipedia-ed it and found some interesting facts and history of the song.

Background knowledge

During late medieval times the seaside resort of Scarborough was an important venue for tradesmen from all over England. It was host to a huge forty-five day trading event, starting August 15, which was exceptionally long for a fair in those times. People from all over England, and even some from the continent, came to Scarborough to engage in business.

The traditional 'Scarborough Fair' no longer exists but a number of low key celebrations take place every September to mark the original event.

Scarborough Fayre in Scarborough North Yorkshire originated from a charter granted by King Henry III of England on 22 January 1253. The charter, which gave Scarborough many privileges, stated "The Burgesses and their heirs forever may have a yearly fayre in the Borough, to continue from the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary until the Feast of St Michael next following"

According to old records, the 45-day Scarborough Fayre, was held annually from 15 August to 29 September and soon became internationally famous as a trading fayre. Merchants came to it from all areas of England, Europe, Norway, Denmark, the Baltic and the Ottoman Empire. Naturally, such a large occasion attracted a lot more than just tradesmen, they needed to be entertained and fed, therefore large crowds of buyers, sellers and pleasure seekers attended the fayre. Prices were determined by ‘Supply and demand’, with goods often being exchanged through the barter system. Records show that from 1383 Scarborough’s prosperity slumped.

In the early 17th century competition from other town's markets and Fayres and increasing taxation saw further collapse of the Fayre until it eventually became financially untenable. The market was revived again in the 18th century, but due to intense competition Scarborough Fayre finally ended in 1788.

Although the Charter for an official Fayre in Scarborough is no more, the local people try to organise events to take place in summer, composed of a week of events revolving around the towns medieval history with jugglers, jesters and musicians.

Scarborough Fair in July 2006 witnessed Medieval Jousting Competitions, hosted by English Heritage in addition to the usual attractions.

The Ballad

The song tells the tale of a young man, who tells the listener to ask his former lover to perform for him a series of impossible tasks, such as making him a shirt without a seam and then washing it in a dry well, adding that if she completes these tasks he will take her back. Often the song is sung as a duet, with the woman then giving her lover a series of equally impossible tasks, promising to give him his seamless shirt once he has finished.

As the versions of the ballad known under the title "Scarborough Fair" are usually limited to the exchange of these impossible tasks, many suggestions concerning the plot have been proposed, including the hypothesis that it is a song about the Plague. In fact, "Scarborough Fair" appears to derive from an older (and now obscure) Scottish ballad, The Elfin Knight (Child Ballad #2), which has been traced to 1670 and may well be earlier. In this ballad, an elf threatens to abduct a young woman to be his lover unless she can perform an impossible task ("For thou must shape a sark to me / Without any cut or heme, quoth he"); she responds with a list of tasks which he must first perform ("I have an aiker of good ley-land / Which lyeth low by yon sea-strand"), thus evading rape.

As the song spread, it was adapted, modified, and rewritten to the point that dozens of versions existed by the end of the 18th century, although only a few are typically sung nowadays. The references to "Scarborough Fair" and the refrain "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" date to nineteenth century versions, and the refrain may have been borrowed from the ballad Riddles Wisely Expounded, (Child Ballad #1), which has a similar plot.

Alright, the LYRICS

Following is one (relatively recent) version of the song, arranged as a duet:

BOTH

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Remember me to one who lives there,
For she/he once was a true love of mine.

MAN

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Without any seam nor needlework,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to wash it in yonder dry well,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Which never sprung water nor rain ever fell,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to dry it on yonder thorn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Which never bore blossom since Adam was born,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Ask her to do me this courtesy,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And ask for a like favour from me,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

BOTH

Have you been to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Remember me from one who lives there,
For she/he once was a true love of mine.

WOMAN

Ask him to find me an acre of land,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Between the salt water and the sea-strand,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

Ask him to plough it with a lamb's horn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And sow it all over with one peppercorn,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

Ask him to reap it with a sickle of leather,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And gather it up with a rope made of heather,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

When he has done and finished his work,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Ask him to come for his cambric shirt,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

BOTH

If you say that you can't, then I shall reply,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Oh, Let me know that at least you will try,
Or you'll never be a true love of mine.

Love imposes impossible tasks,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
But none more than any heart would ask,
I must know you're a true love of mine.

Symbolism of the refrain

Much thought has gone into attempts to explain the refrain "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme", although, as this is found only in relatively recent versions, there may not be much to explain. The oldest versions of "The Elfin Knight" contain the refrain "my plaid away, my plaid away, the wind shall not blow my plaid away" (or variations thereof), which may reflect the original emphasis on the lady's chastity. Slightly younger versions often contain one of a group of related refrains:

Sober and grave grows merry in time
Every rose grows merry with time
There's never a rose grows fairer with time
These are usually paired with "Once she was a true love of mine" or some variant. "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" may simply be the result of an attempt to fill in forgotten portions of one of the above.

In "Scarborough Fair" the herbs may be a veiled message for the girl where the man is explaining why she should come back to him (if she overcomes the five impossible tasks):

parsley: I'm yours.
sage: I'm dependable.
rosemary: Remember me.
thyme: I want to have children with you.

On the other hand, elaborate theories have been proposed concerning the symbolism of these herbs. Parsley, used to this day as a digestive aid, was said to take away the bitterness, and medieval doctors took this in a spiritual sense as well. Sage has been known to symbolize strength for thousands of years. Rosemary represents faithfulness, love and remembrance, and the custom of a bride wearing twigs of rosemary in her hair is still practiced in England and several other European countries today. Thyme symbolizes courage, and during the medieval era, knights would often wear images of thyme on their shields when they went to combat. The speaker in the song, by mentioning these four herbs, wishes his true love mildness to soothe the bitterness which is between them, strength to stand firm in the time of their being apart from each other, faithfulness to stay with him during this period of loneliness and paradoxically courage to fulfill her impossible tasks and to come back to him by the time she can.

Another theory considers the magical significance of the herbs. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme have all been closely associated with death and used as charms against the evil eye. In The Elfin Knight (of which Scarborough Fair is a version), an elf sets impossible tasks to a maid, and her replies determine whether she will fall into his clutches or not. Francis Child suggested that the elf was an interloper from another ballad, Lady Isabel and the Elf-Knight, and that he should rightly be a mortal man, but as Ann Gilchrist points out, "why the use of the herb refrain except as an indication of something more than mortal combat?". Sir Walter Scott in his notes on Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border recalled hearing a ballad of "a fiend... paying his addresses to a maid but being disconcerted by the holy herbs she wore in her bosom", and Lucy Broadwood goes so far as to suggest that the refrain might be the survival of an incantation against such a suitor (which would fit well with the plot of "The Elfin Knight").

Ok so we now we have a good rough idea on the song, it's history and we know the lyrics.
Honestly speaking, it seems to me it's about a song of a man and a woman who are having a conversation about whether they would want to go to the scarborough fair, but much is left to discuss on the subtleties in it. I assume that there's an underlying meaning to what they say and how they say it. From my perpective it speaks about courtship. It depicts the expectations of a man and a woman of a relationship. What i expect from you in a relationship is that you give me this and you give me that. It's about expecting something from the other person which i agree with as long as the expectations are realistic. I quote "When he has done and finished his work, Ask him to come for his cambric shirt, For then he'll be a true love of min" , that's not true love to me...unless you see that stanza in a different light where it can also be portrayed as the woman's response to the man who's asking her to make a cambric shirt, which was nearly impossible in those days, thus implying that men always ask too much of a woman and that it's unfair for them to do so. Women too have their say in things. so yea, that's basically what i glean from reading what i found on wikipedia. Sounds like this song could be used as a discussion on discrimination against sexes. what is so often and commonly discussed is of course feminism. "Women can do everything" , and i support that argument, society doesnt need to be male-dominated. everyone can do his or her part for the betterment of society.
Overall i dont think the lyrics are creepy but it may be the way it sounds...
Menreet do you have an audio copy of the song? cos i dont have any with me and would like to hear the what it sounds like :)

Soldier

2007-02-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

A barrage of words i wrote cos i had free time in camp. I put it here for record's sake.

A grenade explodes in the distance
Shellshocked, it seemed nothing shattered the silence
I'm a rapper but the sounds i'm destined to hear
Aren't music, i sing songs with soldiers, trudging in trenches
Bring my hand to my chest to calm the palpitations
So i'm stating my last wishes
While saying my last prayers
In my life, i wished i was more efficient
In fixing the glitches
'stead of fucking the bitches...
Wait... hang on a second while i take out my matches
Where's my ciggarette? fuck that
There's no time to savour what turns to ashes
The will to live has become a physical one
I'm telling comrades of the man that i've become
Writing love letters to my loved ones
Distribute assets before my life is done
I wana be a success, a phenomenon
But this war might just signal Armageddon
And the only impression i'll leave as of now
Are the footprints of my sole/soul left on this ground
I still dream of seeing the world
To chase skirts and to find the right girl
God, let me live so i can find the right words
To tell people of the true meaning of love
I wana bring health to patients
Lying on beds awaiting judgement
Tell them there's hope, call it salvation
But the devil's controlling the nations
Planting thoughts in heads of corrupted politicians
There's nothing more i want than peace
I don't need to know that humans can bleed
But guns go off like firecrackers
Noone ever bothers about the future
You say war is for the better, it's clear the result is quite the opposite
The reason for war in Ir*q is just a fucking made up prerequisite
Defence comes first... or so say our leaders
It's time that we saw a different set of fireworks.

Jerm and Drea sorry for being lost in space over the weekend, didnt have internet connection on my mac and i was busy doing fund-raising for the exhibition. And yes i copy-pasted my tag on both of your blogs lol. Yes meet up for coffee soon. Like real soon. I won't pang seh this time alright? ;)

2007-02-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

I've been surfing the net for a good 2 hours already lol.
For all who read this page, please support my crew & i, ROUGH DIAMOND INC. We have just set up our site at :

www.roughdiamondinc.proboards53.com

Rough Diamond Inc has been set up in hopes of promoting the local Hiphop scene(Singapore). Please sign up to our forums and show your support.

We have put in a lot of effort into the building of our infrastructure and we as an online community have a lot to offer to people of all tastes and preferences.

In addition, we also are into organising events (tournaments, battles, showcases). RDI will also be looking to expand in the entertainment industry.

Register, get active, start posting and be a part of an organisation that is obviously going places. In the near future, we will also be hosting online activities that include attractive prizes(cash and goods) as well as member privileges.

Note: you can click on the Rough Diamond Inc banner at the top right corner to access the forums. Feel free to browse around and give a shoutout, get involved and bookmark the page to remember us. Hope to cya there. Meanwhile, enjoy your stay when you're checking us out.

Head on down and get active at Rough Diamond Inc, the online community.
Thanks for your support.

2007-02-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

Here's some lyrics i wrote for an upcoming collab with sam and matt on a beat i made. put it down just for the record.

Rocking cradles give birth to ideas
I'm a lighted candle in a room full of darkness//
I'm searching for me, a man lost in the sea
Riding the waves of a cold world, indulging in sin//
A man standing in the mirror, i take a look and discover
I see that it's me, and i still have a future//
My thoughts have spoken, my mind's blown open
Nothing matters more now than for me to believe//
Getting up on my feet, slow finding myself
Confidence rise a level, above what's hell//
I forged a symbol of love for myself in the past
Which didn't take off cos my life crumbled in parts//
I tried a new start, hoping life won't be as hard
But i toyed with myself, playing the game of hearts//
So i trudge on, still a warrior, still a fighter
Never letting up till the end of this battle//

2007-02-02T10:35:00.000+08:00

Ok so it's time to update. don't know why i couldnt view my blog on both my desktop and mac. WHY? shit. ha. damn. am i not destined to blog at home? lol.

Alright anyway, the game against Thailand wasn't as entertaining as the one where we played against Malaysia. oh and before i say anything, thanks to Miss Fam who managed to garner enough seats (macam parliamentary election like that lol)for the group to sit, AND it was a fantastic view. so props again to drea! we were facing right down the halfline of the pitch, somewhere near the middle row of seats. Luckily it didn't rain. the weather was just nice, perfect man know what i'm sayin'? Met up with Sebasssssst and TTTTTerence at the game. Saw Justin, Weehian and Max there as well. Haven't seen yall in ages. Damn.
How i met ttttterence was like fate bringing us together haha. I just got off the train when he called me, and he said he arrived not long ago and was at the bus stop. we brisk walked to the stadium and cut through traffic, jumping over fences. that was fun. like obstacle course lol. too bad i didn't get to do the one in army cos i'm a clerk ahahaha. i didn't imagine Sebast's family would be there. cool man.

The first few mins or should i say the whole match was quite disappointing. The start by both teams was extremely sluggish and painful to watch. The players from both teams were laid back while in play. Somehow the mood wasn't there. the atmosphere was not as pumped up as compared to the last time. The stadium was packed but not as crazily as the previous time. There were only two small pockets of Thai fans. As usual they were guarded heavily by singaporean policemen.

We then grabbed a goal, after repeated firing of the ball at goal. two shots got blocked and the third one went to "uh can't remember who", who shot and it went in. Terence quoted one of jeremy's famous lines, "out of 10 shots i don't believe none will go in". Can't put the exact words down but yea it was somewhere along those lines. Too bad you weren't there Jeremy! Guess what bro, Drea sat beside James!. Lol. if only that made the headlines for the straits times hehe. No offence drea lol. i'm just sure jeremy will love to hear that :)

alright alright so goes on the match, and it was still sluggish with none of the sides letting up on their oh-so-laid-back style of play, though i must say that the Thais are more agile and they looked much more natural on the field than our players. Fortunately our defence managed to fend off some of their threatening attacks. After a while they managed to equalise in the 2nd half. Then came the climax of the night. The thai players walked out of the game due to the referee's penalty call nearing the end of the match. that was definitely a show of poor sportsmanship. they were making all sorts of gestures to the referee signaling their unhappiness with his decision. According to jeremy who saw the replay on tv, there shouldn't have been a penalty, but on a previous incident one of our players got fouled in the box and the referee did not give us a penalty then. Well i guess it's all give and take. No one said refereeing was easy. The fans were stranded with nothing to cheer about for at least a good 20 mins. We saw a few men dressed in black suits come out to speak to the thai team. Don't know who they were though. Some moments later, the thais walked back onto the pitch to play the remaining minutes. Mustafiq rose to the occasion to take the penalty kick. The ball sailed into the top right of the goal and we all celebrated as if we won the championship lol. Thus the final score was 2-1. I hope we manage to hold our composure during the last leg and win the finals as Thailand already has an away goal in hand. I'm not sure about the safety of the singaporean fans though.

Was just chatting with my boss about the game and he says though in some games, the referee might make bad decisions, that's what makes football interesting and attractive. bad calls give rise to talking points, and the emotions fuelling the game make people go to watch them live and i find that's rather true. we go to the stadium for the atmosphere & ambience. though there aren't replays or commentary, it's just being part of the whole atmosphere that is fun, invigorating and exciting as compared to viewing a match at different angles on the tv screen.

Thanks to Terence's dad who drove drea to somewhere near her place, and ter and i for supper at al-azhar (azhar if you're reading this, typing "azhar" just made me think of you lol). i had my first taste of durian prata and that was the shit man. sweet, smooth durian (or was it durian paste?), coupled with the steaming dough was just saliva-inducing on a whole new level. Pardon the dramatics. it's not as if it's that good but it's worthy of praise.ha. Then we headed home. Not to mention somebody dropped a sweet in ter's father's taxi. okok i admit i also suggested leaving it there haha. So sway, ttttterence's father had to clean his taxi that night. i admit it was quite smelly in there. No offence though. anyways it was a good night after all.

Just bought this pair of US Army pants from the e-mart gift shop here at the camp, and it looks pretty cool with the digital camou all over. Olive green with brown and dark green. Good stuff (quoted from Ping lol.) It was just fun chilling with you guys by the pool, sharing jokes (possibly lame ones), talking about people who TRY to diss us (matt & gerrit more specifically), and just plain relaxing in the wind. Sam just emailed me over the com. One more way to keep in touch with the cashew fam. chea.

2007-01-30T13:32:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

i don't know about the storyteller bit haha.

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.
Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.
You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.
You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

2007-01-30T13:28:00.000+08:00

Interesting

Mariah Carey Shares Your Taste in Music

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

2007-01-30T13:26:00.000+08:00

Strawberry? Not my favourite flava lol.

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.

You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

2007-01-30T13:21:00.000+08:00

For those who wana know me better. Ha.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

2007-01-30T13:19:00.000+08:00

True.

You Are 15% Left Brained, 85% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

2007-01-30T13:16:00.001+08:00

Mic check one two one two...

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet
Those who like you have well refined tastes

What Kind of Pie Are You?

2007-01-30T13:12:00.001+08:00

Here's another one.

Your IQ Is 135

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

2007-01-30T13:01:00.000+08:00

haha might as well

You Are Most Like Richard Nixon

Oh sure, you give people plenty of reasons to call you "Tricky Dick."
But you're actually quite diplomatic, even though you secretly hate your enemies.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

2007-01-30T12:57:00.000+08:00

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Couldn't find anything else to do so i figured i'll try all these quizzes lol.

2007-01-30T12:52:00.001+08:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.

And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.

You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.

It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

2007-01-30T09:52:00.000+08:00

Good morning folks! Been damn lazy to update. So many things've been happening the past few days...
I went to watch Singapore VS Malaysia! That was cool. We won 5-4 on penalties cos we drew 1-1, went into extra time and couldn't break the scoreline. What can i say, the atmosphere was euphoric. First time i saw the stadium packed, real packed. There was just a big ocean of reds (not those found in cigarettes, ok that was lame...), and according to statistics there were 55,000 fans present. most of them singaporeans, obviously. Watched it with Terence, Sebast, Jeremy, Jeremy's brother (his name is Joel i think), Rea and her friends, Alicia, Grace and Azhar ! It was like another live tagboard session lol. Awesome meeting you guys there, and looking forward to seeing yall more often. You've got great friends Drea! Football brings people together, and that's a beautiful thing.

Funny thing was i had to get tickets from this guy Justin. Rea sent me his number and his name read Lee; Justin. I was thinking could he be the Justin i knew from SJI, and WALA it was him haha. Justin if you happen to read this, Hello! It was funny when you called and was asking where i was. In the end i had to open my big blue umbrella to indicate where i was, though it wasn't raining lol. It didnt really help till we both saw each other. Will prolly see yall at the next match cos Drea said we would all sit together! And Drea it's cool. No need to apologise for being late lah, it was kinda expected lol. Just kidding yo. Props to Jeremy who reserved some space for us to sit. It was a great outing, thankfully it didn't rain during the match though i was itching a little to show off my one-of-a-kind twin headed, double-barreled-shotgun-lookalike, two-shades-of-blue-coloured, unconventional umbrella. ha!

what can i say, Singapore played really well. Their passing was much improved compared to when they faced Indonesia (where they sucked pretty bad), and there was some world-class one-touch passing which made me go 'woa'. The first goal by malaysia was i feel, Lionel lewis' mistake. One thing i noticed, he always goes to ground when catching the ball. Most keepers would put their knees down to prevent the ball from nutmegging them, and block the path of the ball with their bodies. Anyway he redeemed himself when he saved the last penalty by the malaysian striker, which i felt wasn't a good penalty shot, a pretty soft strike at that. Bennett defended our fort really well. Bigups to him man. Not to forget Precious' long shot during the last few moments of extra time, which was headed for the top left corner, only to be tipped over the bar by the malaysian keeper's fingertips. Damn if only that went in, no one expected him to fancy a shot like that! It would have drawn an exclamation like ssshhhhiiiiiiiittttt. I think the best penalty kick taken was by our own player Mustafiq. Straight down the centre, at the top of the net. And i felt he played really well. There was a superb volley by him which was deflected over the crossbar by a defender in yellow. Can't remember when he did that... Respect for the yellow team's keeper too though, as i felt he worked very hard to keep the yellows in the game. Too bad (or good) we won. Good game overall. Chea.

After that Jeremy, Joel, Terence, Sebast and i went for supper at Mongkok Dim Sum Restaurant at Geylang It's good to have friends who can drive lol. But thanks for the ride guys! We had to wait damn long for the food lah. At one time, Jeremy asked the lady to clear the table. She was unmistakably from mainland China, so in chinese Jeremy said, xiao jie, ke yi bang wo men 'clean up' ma? That was f-cking funny lol. No offence bro! After all you said you loved me to bits on friendster didn't you? Hehe. Too bad you won't be at the 1st leg match of the finals man. What a night lah what a night. i hope to see you again terence! before you know what! Not to forget dear Sebast as well. Haha. Damn man all you peeps gonna ORD soon. 19 weeks left for me.

Alright so saturday ended and sunday came. i had our weekly soccer session with the eXcess people. It was fun except for this group of malay kids (not being racist here) who kept taunting us cos they didnt get to play. Who asked yall not to book the court? fuckers. Ha. And one of them confronted my friend, who if for the un-initiated, was an ex-gangster. He's a big indian guy, with great-looking sideburns haha. he's got gangster connections too, who were or possibly still are, knife and broken-bottle wielding warriors in their own right. That scrawny kid wanted to settle things by fighting, and he was in a boxer-stance. I thought, what a loser. If things got hotter i would have prolly joined in the confrontation, cos i was FUCKING pissed off. Those kids deserve a teaching or a beating. Luckily i didnt let the anger get the better of me or i would have lashed out. Besides i have been pumping iron. Fortunately i didnt abuse them for the wrong reason lol. fuckfaces... And so we carried on playing til it was time for us to go. It was a great soccer time, not to mention getting a good sweat out of it all.

This morning there was a meeting for all the NSFs in our department. Basically we were lectured for our sloppiness in doing office duties. Oh well what can i say. Our admin head reprimanded us for a cool 40mins. It was so boring i almost fell asleep. He even said things like 'you don't know the other side of me' and something along the lines of 'don't mess with me'. he brought up the example of when someone poured sulphuric acid over his car body and how he brought the culprit to the police station to make a report stating that the he was made to pay for the damages. We were all basically stoning and not paying heed to what he was talking about. 2 extras for any sloppiness, was the verdict of the case in question. so yea we'd all better be careful next time.

when's my lunch coming.....

2007-01-27T10:39:00.000+08:00

the clock on this pc i'm typing at reads 10:53 a.m. lol. that's about 14 mins ahead of time. now i'm stuck in camp as i volunteered to watch over some contractors setting up new projectors in the office, well not me alone but with another colleague. he's not even here yet haha. we're supposed to report at 9am.
alot of things have been crossing my mind. one of them is along the lines of friendship. it's a sensitive issue. when people don't quite treat you the same way as before and they start talking in a different tone, you know it's headed down the hill. it's just awkward, or were we never close at all? Food for thought.....it's interesting to sit back and analyse people's actions and behaviours, at the same time paying attention to mine. i probably have a slight interest in psychology and sociology, we'll see how far i carry that when uni starts at NUS. people say when you analyse people too much you can become manipulative. very true. but how else would you know to read situations and prevent negative outcomes?
alright this evening singapore will be playing malaysia and i'll be watching it with andrea and her friends, as well as jeremy who told me terence and sebast might be coming too. a great mash up (quote from drea lol) quite possibly. i just have a feeling singapore will lose to malaysia. ha. we'll see about that. another thing i can look forward to is an off day on monday. that's for doing duty right now where i'm at. i'm glad i think it's quite worth it.

i'll be looking forward to watching the match later. this cold turkey period is giving me a headache.

2007-01-25T10:37:00.000+08:00

It's quite amazing having staved off ciggies for 6 days. my withdrawal symptoms have transformed from day to day, occasionally varying in intensity, and this depends whether there are stimuli, for e.g. having neighbours smoking around you (no offence folks lol), or seeing other people smoke. it also depends whether you entertain your thoughts further, for example trying to remember how blowing smoke out of your mouth was quite fun etc. The first two days, my nose kept running, for the days that followed, up to this day, i've been having mild fevers on and off, cough, as well as phleghm being purged from my body. My lungs feel much clearer now and i'm slowly increasing the intensity of exercise. everyday i keep telling myself i'm gonna get fitter from today and i'm not looking back. if only smoking isn't unhealthy, i'll definitely continue doing it haha. it has helped me deal with depression and stress related to this point in time. however i've decided not to become reliant on it, refusing to become slave to something which keeps burning holes in my pockets and possibly my lungs as well. went to play ball last night, felt a little disappointed that i kept coughing and that my stamina was shit, which made me even more determined to make a so called 'comeback', to rebuild my fitness and regain strength. wish me luck.

2007-01-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

it's been helluva 5 days since i last updated haha. alot of shit's been happening.
on friday the good people of eXcess were over at my place for our fortnightly meetings. we're in the planning stages of the exhibition but i'm glad our ideas are falling into place. jamming the next day kinda sucked because we played asshole dai dee till 2am and ordered mac's for supper. couldnt really sleep well and all we did was to practice a cover song we would be doing for fund-raising at christ the king church. too bad i fell sick on friday, my chest started to get tight and my breathing became heavier. hence my decision to quit. like foreal. quite fed up of what smoking's done to me already lol. i'll miss the relaxing effects of it but there's too much to life to give it away to an unhealthy addiction. my nose has been running way too much till the edges of my nostrils are sore, plus i've been coughing out hellota pleghm whenever i exercised, especially on sunday when we played soccer. it was quite a bad day. mel jo jeremy and i arrived late and we only managed to play for about an hour before it started raining...heavily...shit man lol. and there were more people other than the usual group so it was bound to be more fun, but too bad i guess. there's always next week and the weeks after.
i'm getting hungry. played ball just now, had an icy shower as usual and normally i'd have smoked 3 sticks by now. guess i'm geting used to it ha. oh i feel dizzy. i read on the web that that's one of the withdrawal symptoms cos the brain is not used to receiving greater amounts of oxygen as the carbon monoxide causes less oxygen to reach it and the heart. so i'm getting an oxygen rush. feels good. lol. i'll term it 'getting a high from not getting a high'.
30 mins to free lunch. i'm a hungry wolf.

2007-01-18T12:53:00.000+08:00

Hey andrea! haha didnt update cos i was too tired & sleepy last night lah, only went up at midnight. matt and i were the couple sitting at the pool together with yih ping the guy who didnt come in the end. almost couldnt wake up in the morning, but it was a good experience. fun wasnt it?

the match was disappointing in the end cos generally the singapore players didnt play with too much passion and fighting spirit, they were basically content with holding back and keeping a defensive formation not wanting to take any chances at going out to score more goals. laid back, disinteresting and the pace was painfully slow. indonesia was definitely the livelier of the two sides with more tenacity and determination. possibly fuelled by the fact that they needed a win against us in order to proceed to the semis but i give them respect, except for the no.19 who dived ha. also, they looked fitter and more agile than our players. i remember quite a few shots that they had which were good, hard strikes, but they were only to be denied by lionel lewis. not to mention lewis made some good saves which saved us and kept us in the game.

the score was 2 all. first goal was due to a penalty which came about cos the indo keeper felled our no.10 jersey indrah sadan (not sure how you spell his name tho), then indo leveled, then we scored and they leveled again. the second and third goals were just goals that came out of a messy scramble for the ball and the last i must say, was not supposed to be a goal. the setup came from an indo player who tried to bring a high ball down and it hit his hand (at this juncture i thought the referee would surely call for a handball), then i think he passed to his teamate who shot a high ball which sailed into the net rather gracefully (note at this point all the singaporeans were jeering and shouting 'referee kayu!' and you know the normal vulgarities like 'what the fuck?!' and 'referee fucking chibai!' lol). hmm and the singapore defenders did not try to stop the shot cos they all thought it was hand ball. actually that made me think: when you play at a professional level normally players would play to the whistle, no whistle no foul. you dont just stop playing cos you think what the opponent did was a foul. nevertheless the referee ruled it as a goal, we were left hoping for more. the lions at this point seemed only keen to keep the scoreline at a draw and considering the indonesians were hungry for goals, there were a quite a number of close shaves but fortunately no goals came for them.

counting down to the last few mins the highlight of the match must have been the indonesian player (i think he was wearing a no.3 jersey) who suddenly ran onto the pitch from the sidelines as he was injured earlier, when there were already 11 indo players fielded! the crowd was jeering like fuck. the linesman didnt do anything at all. i even wonder why he let him on the pitch. when no.3 realised he didnt need to be on the pitch, he proceeded for a 'victory walk' out of the field, onto the track, past some spectators and finally to his home bench. everyone was laughing and boo-ing. it didnt help that he had a bandage round his head. ha.

thankfully the rain stopped. if not my arm would have been aching after the match (yes andrea?) haha just kidding. it was essentially a good night out. yes and i finally got to meet you andrea haha, and your friend menreet, and harmeet, jeremy ( being his usual self, passionate about the game, ever willing to let loose with his arsenal of vulgarities, and he knows every single singaporean player in the team which was useful lol) as well as his friends james and timothy. props to tim for the free tickets! if not for him, i would also have got in free lol, not to forget my man matt (who has contacts) was there with the gomezes, cedric and ashley. a few yellow cards, coke, chips, plenty of shouting, cursing and swearing later we headed home. the people made it a fun night, yes folks? we'll see if there are other matches coming up.

2007-01-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

just got news that my next camp duty would be on Valentine's day, like damn. nobody can ask me out then. lol. ok that sounded narcissistic, who wants to give me some love and visit me in camp with a bouquet of roses? pauses to listen to the silence. ha. just dissed myself but it's all good. tonight i'll be watching Indonesia vs Singapore at the national stadium. should be good fun. it'll be a first for me. would be able to meet up with my brudda from cj mr. jeremy heng himself which'll be great and of course the indian dance crazy miss Fam lol, with two parts of the cashew Fam and others. aight damn i'm feeling warm with cup of teh in me. just got back from the canteen and waiting for the next 30mins to pass by. Cupid send me yo blessings. i aint a romantic g aight? lol. here i go again. chea. till soon.

2007-01-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

Was just reading up on the history of the name Benjamin on wikipedia. pretty interesting stuff.

Benjamin (Hebrew: בִּנְיָמִין; standard transliteration Binyamin, Tiberian vocalization Bínyāmîn) is a Hebrew Bible figure. The name literally translates to "son of right," generally taken to mean "son of my right hand," but in some rabbinical traditions "son of the right side [of the body]" or "son of the south," the youngest son of Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 35:18). The "right" direction had the connotation of strength or desirability. In the Samaritan Pentateuch, this name is consistently spelled בנימים (Binyamim), which may indicate a neutralization of nasal-final endings, or may imply a different analysis, as בן ימים, "son of days", implying the son of Jacob's old age (as he is described in Genesis 44:20).

His birth took place on the road between Bethel and Ephrath, which is identified with Bethlehem (Genesis 35:19). His mother Rachel died in childbirth, and with her last breath named him Ben-oni ("son of my pain"), an ill-omened name which was changed by his father into Binyamin. His posterity were the tribe of Benjamin, sometimes translated "Benjamites" (Genesis 49:27; Deuteronomy 33:12; Joshua 18:21).

The tribe of Benjamin at the Exodus was the smallest aside from Manasseh, which was split off from Joseph (Numbers 1:34-1:37; Psalms 68:27). During the march its place was along with Manasseh and Ephraim on the west of the tabernacle. At the entrance into Canaan it counted 45,600 warriors. It has been inferred by some from the words of Jacob (Genesis 49:27) that the figure of a wolf was on the tribal standard: "Benjamin is a wolf that raveneth; in the morning he shall devour the prey, at evening he shall divide the spoil."

This tribe is mentioned in Epistle to the Romans 11:1 and Philippians 3:5.

The inheritance of this tribe lay immediately to the south of that of Ephraim, and was about 26 miles in length and 12 in breadth. Its eastern boundary was the Jordan. Dan intervened between it and the Philistines. Its chief towns are named in Josh. 18:21-28.

The history of the tribe contains a sad record of a desolating civil war in which they were engaged with the other eleven tribes; they were almost exterminated (Judg. 20:20, 21; 21:10).

The first king of the Jews was Saul, a Benjamite. A close alliance was formed between this tribe and that of Judah in the time of David (2 Sam. 19:16, 17), which continued after his death (1 Kings 11:13; 12:20). After the Exile these two tribes formed the great body of the Jewish nation (Ezra 1:5; 10:9), and to this day the other ten are referred to as the lost tribes of Israel. The tribe of Benjamin was famous for its archers (1 Sam. 20:20, 36; 2 Sam. 1:22; 1 Chr. 8:40; 12:2) and slingers (Judges 20:16).

The gate of Benjamin, on the north side of Jerusalem (Jer. 37:13; 38:7; Zech. 14:10), was so called because it led in the direction of the territory of the tribe of Benjamin. It is called by Jeremiah (20:2) "the high gate of Benjamin"; also "the gate of the children of the people" (17:19). (Comp. 2 Kings 14:13.)

SON OF JACOB

Benjamin was the son of Jacob and Rachel, the youngest of Jacob's twelve sons and full blood brother to Joseph. Benjamin's early years are not divulged too deeply, but what is known is that he did not feel jealousy towards Joseph as their older brothers did and he had no involvement in Joseph being sold into slavery.

Once Joseph was sold and thought to be dead, it appears that Jacob took Benjamin up as his favorite son. Though this is not directly said, he did not send Benjamin with his older brothers to Egypt and when they returned for him it took them two years to convince Jacob to let him go.

Benjamin was key in Joseph's plan in testing their brothers to see if they had really changed. When they arrived in Egypt he demanded that they bring Benjamin back with them on the pretense that they prove they are not spies, while he kept Simeon as collateral. After two years they returned with Benjamin and though he didn't recognize his brother, Joseph was very happy to see him:

When Joseph looked around he saw his own mother's son, his brother Benjamin and asked, 'Is this your youngest brother, of whom you told me?' and to Benjamin he said, 'May God be gracious to you, my son!' Joseph, suddenly overcome by his feelings for his brother, was almost in tears, and he went into the inner room and wept. (Genesis 43:29-30)

Later Joseph had his silver cup planted in Benjamin's sack and then had him arrested for theft. This was still part of his plan in testing their older brothers. When the brothers pleaded his case and even Judah offered to stay in his place, Joseph revealed himself to his brothers and hugged Benjamin first.

JACOB'S BLESSING

On his deathbed, Jacob blessed each one of his sons, usually based upon the actions they took in life. Though Benjamin had no involvement in Joseph's enslavement and there doesn't seem to be much evidence that he was troublesome, Jacob bestowed upon him a rather somber blessing:

Benjamin is a ravening wolf, in the morning he devours the prey, in the evening he snatches a share of the spoil. (Genesis 49:27)

source: www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin

2007-01-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

i think i'm beginning to like bikes. unfortunately my folks won't allow me to take a bike license. will prolly do so when i'm older. stumbled upon this pic while surfing damncoolpics.blogspot.com and i think this prototype is pretty.

was thinking of getting a vespa when i'm older. just use it to run errands and such. wont want a high speed machine to roll on the expressways.

2007-01-15T09:25:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i updated cos i've been raelly busy with eXcess. been doing alot of planning and organising lately, holding meetings, jamming sessions and such. i'm feeling really positive about the whole thing, this exhibition that's tentatively set to take place on the 25th of march. we're still so into the baby stages of planning but the pace is picking up. i'm feeling real amped about this, partly because i'm the overall planner and the responsibility is on me to do it well.
had a jamming session with the rest of the band on sat and it was pretty amazing. we spent about 5 hours improvising and composing our songs. out of a total of 5 songs that we're performing, we got 2 locked down, plus 2 others about halfway done. out of the 5, two are raps, one is laid back, one a heavier version of a worship song, and another indie rockish. had a lot of inspiration coming in though we're stuck on the first song as we ended up with a writer's block. eugene's drumming was fantastic, and he's only 16. respect. it's gonna be roughly ten weeks to the exhibition and i pray i'll keep my focus right. by the way any donations toward this exhibition will be warmly welcomed! just hit me up.

yo Gerrit! lol yea there was and still is a war going on lol. but hey man how ya doing over there? good to hear from you man, it's gonna be about 4 more weeks before you return? looking forward to that homes.

hey matt, getting a taste of office work yea? you can chat with me via sms or msn more often now lol. you have better working hours compared to me man. start at 9, finish at 5. wish i had the same but mine's good already considering it's in the army and i'm not complaining ha. anyway have fun working there!

2007-01-10T10:48:00.000+08:00

hmm eXcess' exhibition is coming up soon. i was just reflecting on the previous year's exhibtion. i want this year's one to be really big and successful. below was our design for a cd cover for the cds we gave out to people who were there. i put it up just for remembrance.
it was created by Julia.

eXhaustified'06 CD cover. by ~ballistica on deviant ART

you can check out her designs by clicking on the pic.

2007-01-09T09:43:00.000+08:00

it feels good to feel well again. havent been posting cos i was plagued with flu and cough on and off. prolly cos i played soccer and basketball when i was sick ha. there was a big purging of phlegm. anyway i just finished playing a game of ball with my colleague and i'm feeling rather refreshed from the icy shower in camp. i hope my balling skills are still there, my free throw sucks now. out of 15 i only got 3 in. second try got 6. haha shit. at least it was a 100% improvement.
anyway was chilling with matt by the pool yesterday and i told him i'd prolly record a diss track to ashburn too. haha we'll see how that comes out. woot. yo matt it was like the good ol' days wasnt it? that was like two years ago man. how time flies... just us two, too bad there werent any stars to look at lol. dont mean to sound gay but yeah haha. hopefully Raj will have some event coming up soon. i need some cash too. wana check out his dance studio on the weekend or sth? and you better know how to get to holland village lol.
alright alright enough for now. i need to drink water.

2007-01-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

In tribute to my hockey mates of 2004-05. We should meet up sometime soon. how time flies man. hope you guys are doing well in army (right of the '86 batch i'm the last to ORD), uni and in life in general.

2007-01-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year folks! sorry this is kinda late i know. been pretty damn busy celebrating and celebrating and going out and staying out way too late. anyway it has been an eventful weekend for me. had the eXcess christmas party at Jem's place. i must say the carolling was fantastic. the singers had really good voices and i liked their harmonisation. i'll give them credit. especially the "beatboxer". besides the singing, the food was incredible! two big trays of lasagne, a few bowls of potato salad, a huge bowl of spaghetti, honey ham, turkey, pudding. there was so much food we couldn't finish everything. had a crazy time hanging out lol.

saturday was a time spent with celestine, celesther and alphons. we were all talking about the politics in eXcess and yea i understand how they feel. it's just creating two big opposing sides which isn't healthy honestly. well what i can say is that i''ve already spoken to jo and we should in fact talk these issues out. i won't blame any of you if you feel like leaving. i once felt the same way after all. we're still progressing as a group and the only way to go is forward. we got nothing to lose yea? aight oh and please do not mention that starbucks guy again! lol.

spent counting down the last of 2006 with devathas, daniel, matthew, yih ping, samuel and gerrit down by the poolside (after playing 5 hours of soccer at bishan). it was great fun. played the 'ring of fire' drinking game, got high, fucked up during the game here and there, drank here and there, not to mention we were making alot of noise ha. too bad i didnt last long haha. anyway it was awesome cos it's quite rare these days that the whole group is together. hey gerrit if you see this it's a shout out to you! i hope you're doing fine in germany. sorry i couldnt answer my phone cos i was having a massage. have fun there bro! we're all gonna miss him huh?

and so i'ma sleep now.
fell sick today and my nose is fucked. till tomorrow!

2006-12-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.

After shopping around a while, he decided that the car he wanted was the latest Porsche. So the snail went to the nearest dealer and approached the salesperson to buy one, but only on the condition that he could have a large "S" painted on the door.

The salesperson looked at him and asked, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replied, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the salesperson didn't want to pass up the sale, so he agreed to have the car painted for a small fee.

The snail received his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.

And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

lame shit haha...

2006-12-28T18:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm it's almost 7pm. still stuck in the office. came across this joke while tryna kill time. thought it was funny. at this age i don't know how marriage is like. pretty terrified of parenting. i'll leave it to when the time comes lol. i don't dislike kids after all.

Marriage - Before the Ceremony and After
Before: You take my breath away
After: I feel like I'm suffocating

Before: She says she loves the way I take control
After: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before: He makes me feel like a million dollars
After: If I had a dime for every clumsy thing he's done...

Before: We agree on everything!
After: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before: Is that all you're having?
After: Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before: Nothing is too good for you!
After: You spent *how* much??

Before: Ideal
After: Idle

Before - Candy hearts and flowers
After - Onion rings and antacid

Before: Time stood still
After: This relationship is going nowhere

Before: Croissant and cappuccino
After: Bagel and instant coffee

Before: Blind
After: Nearsighted

2006-12-28T18:02:00.000+08:00

honestly i had quite a bad day today. it's coming back. in shots. and i'm dreading it. fuck. looking forward to be balling later or going to the gym.

2006-12-28T13:10:00.000+08:00

just saw an offer for a mixer up at frontallabs.com. smsed this guy and he told me he's selling a display Rane TTM56 for 1.5k. shit i wana get it. it usually costs around 1.8 or so. it's just too expensive ha. will prolly set my sight on a japanese vestax pmc-06prod (i think)at $699. but first up i'll be getting the Yamaha MW10 at $350. we'll see about that. nothing much to talk about now. just a little bored after lunch. had some spicy fish and chicken with radish soup and rice and broccolis. not too bad. cookhouse food after all.

damn i hope i'll be able to get the pictures i took at perth out of my digicam cos the memory card is fucking up. thankfully though we brought two along and we've still got some pictures on the other one. plus the film in the analog cam. should be good should be good.

celest, just hoping you'll think carefully before you decide if you wana leave or not. ultimately, the choice is yours and i'll be here if you need to talk about it.

i'm gonna be the duty clerk today and i'm hoping i can close early cos not many people are around. i need to go home to get some exercise done. only managed to ride my bike last night and it poured. it's been 2 weeks since i last exercised, but it was cool cycling in the rain cos the drops hit you harder and you feel colder cos of the wind, but that's gonna take a toll on my already rusty trusty peugeot. i remeber nearly crashing into some people cos i was riding it a bit too fast. one of them was keith lol. a guy i used to play ball with. he was jogging and i almost went straight into him. not such a good idea to listen to songs while riding, in the dark, when it's raining. i guess i didnt burn as many calories as i wanted but i'll save that for another day.

2006-12-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

Damn i feel tired. had food poisoning early at 4am....had to shit a few times in camp. my arsehole was nearly feeling like an ulcer but thankfully i took the 'poh chai yun' pills and i guess it worked cos it stopped around evening time......

came home around 1120pm. went to daphne's place after work for our little cell group gathering cos she was having a bbq and invited us over. we couldnt find her place at first somewhere in serangoon north ave 5. we couldnt find her block! and we walked in the rain for about 30mins. thank goodness i had my goretex haha. we had otah, stingray!, chicken wings and meat, squid, taiwan sausages and prawns and sweet potatoes. too bad it was raining so we did it in a really cramp place and the smoke gave me quite a headache after that, but overall it was aight.

today was a slack day at work. basically didnt really do anything. slept for an hour or so and my branch ppl met up with george and danny to eat lunch at swensen's. the fish and chips seem so mediocre after trying the one at perth. lol.

szuyu, merry christmas! yes i have a blog haha. just started recently, got it so i could kill time and boredom ha. Hope your doing fine in NY too!

hey andrea, you really got me hooked on that nelly furtado song haha. i'm listening to it over and over again. but thanks for the referral. no complaints.

zzzzzZZzzzz......

2006-12-22T10:55:00.000+08:00

hey people did you miss me? lol. i really enjoyed perth, a much needed break from singapore ha. only thing is it's a litle boring with little nightlife. most shops are closed by evening. damn. but i'd say we had a whale of a time. went to places like fremantle (they have the best fish and chips i've ever tasted) and swan valley, margaret river etc etc. it's just amazing. the scenery the FOOD the hmmm chicks? not to mention the receptionist at our hotel looked like a sleazy asian, you know those that have yellow gold hair with black eyeliner lining the eyes, but anyway it's not for me to judge. when we first arrived there were very few asians, and suddenly on the 2nd last day we saw loads of 'em. funny. there were very few blacks though and i actually saw someone from CJ. dont know her name though, and not particularly interested. i only had two hours of sleep and i'm feeling real stoned. i need a candy stick. ok i hear you folks telling me to quit and all lol. mayb not just yet yea? ok cashew fam, wana go out for dinner tonight? then you can tell me all about the story of bush and blair and why 50cent feels like an outcast. savvy mate?

2006-12-15T13:16:00.000+08:00

ok folks this is prolly the last post before i leave for perth. my flight's at 12 something am. limo's gonna come at 10pm. i'll be back on friday the 22nd. morning. so till then! cheers. haha.

2006-12-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

ok i'm back from the pool with matt and ping. so yall didnt watch borat in the end cos sam had to book into camp. just had a couple of sticks cos i wont be able to do them for a week. i guess it's a headstart to quit. i'll see how it goes. anyway i found out a good way to relieve the strain on your eyes when you've been sitting in front of your computer for a long period.

it does work for me lol. i remember playing dota with my shades on once before. you know like how they say if you're driving in heavy rain and the droplets are just smothering the windscreen and obstructing your view, wear shades. i don't know if that's for sure though.

2006-12-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

woa woa mambo was fun! not really my type of music but the people made it great. went there with matt, gerrit, yih ping, sam, joel, malcolm, boa and two of her friends, chen yang and two more of matt's friends. met mel, mabel, gen and iris over there. man the first time i met a hell lot of people at once. saw yun and his friends (too bad we hardly play soccer on saturdays now), and kenny who just came back from sydney for a break. then i saw ian, julian, addy, a couple of CJ people that i knew and sophie as well..... at first i couldnt dance to the freaking mambo hits. hey it's my first time there lah, don't blame me, and don't laugh. i can hear some of you giggling :) ping and i started dancing hiphop to the songs at one point, damn funny lah. lol. in the end i was dancing mostly with mabel, mel, gen and iris. so crazy man. and there was this guy who was drunk. almost gonna puke. a bit came out and it splashed on mel and mabel i was like sheeeeett. wtf man. and he still went to drink some more. went to prata house to eat after that and it felt good. long time no eat prata haha. and thanks to mabel for the ride home. so i didnt have to pay for transport home. woot. i'll prolly go again. next year or sommin'. chea.

with gen, iris, mabel, jo and mel

kinda feeling out of sorts lately. mainly cos the bomb dropped again. another bomb. and you homies know what. i just can't help feeling a little depressed though i'm over that episode. comes occasionally so dont blame me. tell me how borat went man haha. ali f*cking G. bet yall gonna tell me all about it by the pool later.

i'm leaving on a jet plane. will miss yall so man. i'll see what i can get from perth.

2006-12-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

i'm 4 hours away from my 2 week long break. woot. it's been 6.5 hours and i've already done 5. shit. ok so i owe the eXcess fund 20 bucks. and i'll be going shopping tmr with EC & Celestine. woot.

i'm in the process of rearranging the furniture in my room. it's a crazy job/chore. gettin rid of the dust, a bit of mould here and there, cockroach shells (just 1). pls it's not as dirty as it seems lol. spent 3 hours on friday evening doing it and i'm only half way through. well my goal is to make my room more conducive for making music, and to create space for future gadgets which is alot to save for. if the final arrangement is picture worthy i'll take a picture and post it here lol.

went to watch the nativity story last night. thought it was not bad. the movie was just the bible put into motion picture, nothing really special about the story. i mean of course the birth of jesus is in itself something marvelous. it's interesting when you think about how olden peoples deal with religion in the past compared to the modern generation. vastly different. save for the devout christian population of the world i guess. some of the places where the movie was shot seemed like paradise to me. palm trees, streams that run through rocky valleys guarded by magnificent moutain sides coloured with the occasional green patches of grass. then there was the desert. it's just awesome to me. during those brief moments when i was looking at the scenery i felt the primitive side of me come to life for a bit. that certain hunger for something natural, not man-made buildings, buses and cars, noisy & congested places. ok but that's not the whole point of this post. i would rate the movie a 6.5 upon 10. it's aight.

2006-12-07T18:19:00.000+08:00

ok i'm sitting here and the clock reads 6.43pm. and i'm still stuck in the office lol. it's my damn duty today. and there's this big meeting going on. and it started at 2pm. people say it's gonna last long. i'm hoping it doesnt. obviously. and i'm starving. i want....chicken cutlet! ha. good news is that i dont need to do duty this sunday so i'm really not complaining. just so happened my name didnt appear on the list.
so i'm browsing for different dj equipment. just realised my setup needs alot of pimping up to do. but i dont have the money. i'll wait till i have the desire to quit. maybe my trip to perth will help.

2006-12-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

it's all coming back. like a rush of energy. real, negative and heavy energy. the same thing i felt one and a half years ago. i guess i shouldnt have tried to talk to you. why the fuck now.
i guess it's different when you try to be nice. people react differently to you, they treat you differently. but i hold it in my stride. it's my pinciples i uphold. so i'm starting to find my footing all over again.

2006-12-06T12:18:00.000+08:00

i got a list of things i wana buy. but i just blew $111 on bus and mrt concession. plus $3 cos my NS ez-link has not been activated. shit man. hmmmm...

1. Mic stand
2. Butter Rugs slipmats
3. Battlebreaks
4. Monitor Speakers
5. Guitar Tuner
6. Record case
7. MP3 Player
8. Records case
9. Purpose Driven Youth Ministry
10. Serato Scratch Live
11. Tascam CD-DJ1
12. Tascam 122L
13. Basketball

@#%^$%*&!!!

2006-12-06T09:25:00.000+08:00

ok i'm sitting in front of the internet pc in camp feeling stoned and cold. i only got home at roughly 1.40am. i'm feeling like a zombie. we went to send celesther off at the airport. it was my first time being at the budget terminal. damn i think they should name it something classier. it's always the first thing that comes to mind when you hear a name that counts. well maybe not always. her flight was at 12.40 and we stayed till about midnight. we're gonna miss her! i'm sure she'll have a great time there. being at the airport reminded me of the trips i took last time and i've realised how old i am now haha. thankfully it also reminded me that i would be here again next friday as i'll be flying to perth. woot. can't really wait, but i know it'll come and go soon enough.
the ride home was crazily fun and airy lol. jo, mel, nat, peter, terence, eugene, tine and i all sat on tine's father's lorry and i really appreciate him sending all of us home, taking the trouble to travel to lentor, ang mo kio, serangoon, whampoa and to...uh...bukit timah. yes mine was the most out of the way to get to lol. we had great fun sitting at the back and letting the wind blow against our faces, it was like feeling a release of tension. we sat for about a good hour or so. damn i wana do it again.

on a sidenote, whoever is or wants to be a bimbo should read 'The Undomesticated Goddess' by Sophie Kinsella. it's kinda old but yeah a fun read. lol.

2006-12-05T11:41:00.001+08:00

Hey matt just wana wish you a very happy 18th Birthday!!!!!!!! Now you can officially club lol. We shall go when your back.

Damn i'm tired. Had two good games of basketball in camp today. played two 4 on 4 games and lost both. the score for one was 11-10. cant remember the score of the other one. we almost won but too bad. it was a good workout anyway, and the water from the shower was ice water. shit man it really woke me up. i need a new ball. anyone willing to sponsor me? kindly contribute to the "buy a ball for Ben" fund. you can sms me at 9657728* to state how much you wana contribute. lol.

the * stands for terms and conditions apply. it means tag me to know the last digit. damn i'm talking trash. going to the airport later for my cell group cos celesther is flying off. farewell celesther! have a good and safe mission trip. i'm sure God will bless you abundantly.

watch this space again! oh and please donate :)

2006-12-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

ok now it seems i can access the blogger page from the office. i can post, finally. woot.

i'll start with the happenings from friday night. after going for the "Secrets Exposed" play edward, nick, mel, alphons, terence, eugene and i went to the CHIA Residence to play counterstrike with all our laptops , chris joined in shortly after. it was fun, what a night man what a night. we started playing from about midnight or so and we lasted through 6am. killer rounds we had. the CHIAs beat the rest 94 rounds to 27 in one match and 54 to 4 in another. aka we owned! lol. no offence to the rest. and props to eugene for purchasing the ethernet switch. i foresee us playing more often haha. ok and then we ordered mac's breakfast. soon after we slept around 630am. the next morning we had to go to church to demolish the tridium decorations, and we were late. not surprisingly though. and jo, jem and peter were there much earlier. we went to junction 8 for lunch and i headed home to get some sleep.
i went to glendon's new place at hume park 1 in the evening for a birthday party cum primary school gathering of class 1998. check it i just said class of 1998. now that's tight. chea. it was a really nice place man. it was great fun although there were only 9 of us lol. cake got smeared here and there, ice was everywhere, crazy shit man. HAHA. ok and they went to one of those karaoke things called k-box or something. i declined to join cos i was too damn tired.
and so came sunday, woot. we played soccer! it was our weekly soccer day for the good people of excess. met up with celestine earlier cos she was nearby getting stuffed with food haha, and it slipped my mind bus 52 would bring us to bishan. i wanted to take 156 lol. thankfully we took 52. and thanks to celestine! a 50% decrease in travelling + waiting time...
we played 4 hours straight. it was leg-killer day. lol. it was fun lah. some people or someone should i say got the ball in HER face twice and once..um...elsewhere. it's amazing you still chose to continue. most girls wouldnt so props to that lol. the rest should learn from you. yes you, in case you're reading this post haha.
and then came the pizza party, plenty of carbo loading. we prolly replenished the calories that were burnt, maybe even in eXcess (no pun intended lol) so it was cool. it would have been a better ending if i had a massage from jeremy. damn.

2006-12-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

today was pretty slack or should i say very slack in work. one officer went on halfday leave, boss was on exercise (i pity him man, staying late every night, and he told me it was tiring), another officer left early, brnach ic and another colleague was on leave. spent much of the day surfing the net, reading a pc book on Mac os ten tiger for my notebook. then was chatting with celestine for a few hours? lol. sorry you had to help alleviate my boredom. it did help lol. appreciate it celestine! went to meet the rest of the good people of excess as well as qian hui and jeremy and watched a christ the king play entitled 'Secrets exposed'. it was aight. except it was a bit short and definitely not worth $12 bucks. the emotion in their speech needs a little working on but its cool. i've seen their previous play and their inproving. i hope God continues to bless them. now i'm typing this at edward's place getting ready to play cs in a lan environment lol. home lan man. haha. will update again. woot.

2006-11-29T20:02:00.000+08:00

today was aight. alot of officers weren't around. didnt really do much. got a little inspiration for a song for the exhibition coming up. but it's really a little amount. we'll see what we can come up with. happy birthday tabby!!! if you're reading this that is lol. i texted you lah but maybe you were using another number. hope you had a great time today & i still owe you dinner.
anyway, as i posted on my tagboard, i'll opt out of Rough Diamond Inc. initially i thought i could contribute both to eXcess and RDI. but it appears i have to choose. i mean ping you were right, if i split my committments between eXcess and RDI, i guess i can't give my heart purely for one. i wish yall the best man really. i admire your motivation. don't let it die down. you'll always have my support. we can venture sometime together. i'm sure there'll be opportunities.

2006-11-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

Lyrics from my newest song

[Verse #1]

I'ma broken soldier livin' in my own world,
tryna figure out what this life has to hold, so cold//
what happened, i used to be strong,
now i'm staring at my toes wond'ring where did you go//
my joy has turned into worry,
this hurt has never really left me, it kills me!//
nothing worse than this can frustrate me,
and i'm the only one to blame cos i didnt come clean//
for all that's gone by, you still fill my mind,
your face never fades so alive in my rhymes//
so what do i do now,
how do i face this,
how do i go on living my life,
how do i keep on fighting this strife//
there's no you and there's no me,
the meaning in my life has gone out of sight
my heart is torn apart so open and scarred//

[Hook]

it's you that i'm living for...today
it's you that i'm longing for...everyday//
it's you that i'm loving more...each day
it's you i wana hold...you turned away//

[Verse #2]

it hurts to look at my history, history,
it hurts to see i'm a mystery, mystery//
even to myself, i try to be me i try to be free,
and i try to succeed, but still i always end up falling too deep//
so my hope has gone with the wind,
my feelings hang heavy i choke enough of this shit//
i close my eyes and i fade to black
and i try to erase all the thoughts of you that i have and the pictures of you that i had//
so what do i do now,
how do i face this,
how do i go on living my life,
how do i keep on fighting this strife//
there's no you and there's no me,
the meaning in my life has gone out of sight
my heart is torn apart so open and scarred//

[Hook](x2)

it's you that i'm living for...today
it's you that i'm longing for...everyday//
it's you that i'm loving more...each day
it's you i wana hold...you turned away//

2006-11-28T11:01:00.000+08:00

the Cashew Fam... need i say more? chea.

2006-11-28T08:46:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling the lyrics of this song ALOT.

RASCAL FLATTS

~~What Hurts The Most~~

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

2006-11-28T07:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a pretty slack day. my colleague, branch ic and another officer were on leave. that left another officer and i in the office, besides my boss who was on exercise somewhere else in the building. so i pretty much didnt do anything ha. surfed the net, talked to gerrit about Rough Diamond Inc. you know gerrit and ping, i think maybe we should change our crew name. just a suggestion. i've found what i wana do in life, and i said i'll be in the crew, and at the same involved in eXcess. we can venture together every now and then as well. it's all for a good cause, let's make this future happen man. i'm also tired of running round in circles and not doing anything. all the nights spent chilling by the poolside, they weren't very productive huh lol. when cashew heights goes en-bloc i'll really miss the poolside ambience. and the times spent chatting.

later in the evening i went to meet the good people of eXcess for a healing rally at the indoor stadium. we went to see this man of God called TB Joshua do miracles... we were supposed to meet at kallang mrt at 7 but i bumped into celestine and we went ahead first. it was a pretty long walk but walking with someone definitely helps to alleviate the monotony... hello celestine! yes i was so bored i had to read your blog lol. and yeah i try to cut down but it's hard most times. thanks for the concern. and i'll post some pictures up soon so you don't find it too wordy haha. good luck for your camp. pls try to sleep more, and don't keep fasting impromptu aight? like i said if you need someone to listen, you can talk to me.

anyway i wana give thanks to God for this man TB Joshua, as he amazingly healed many of the sick who came for the event. there were people sitting on wheelchairs, and when he touched them they got up from the wheelchair and started walking! like woa....it's the first time being at a healing rally for me but man you could feel God's love working.i actually teared when i saw those people stand on their feet. crazy. the only down part was the chinese translator. totally spoilt the flow of TB Joshua's preaching. imagine hearing spoken english dashed with a nigerian accent being echoed by mandarin... no offence intended. just the plain spoken english would be cool.

there were websites that slammed TB Joshua, one of them is www.truthwatch.info. the stuff posted there portrayed him as blasphemous and ridiculous. well i thought otherwise when i was there. hmm it's up to one's perception i guess. as melvin said, it's what you believe in that counts, and we believe in Jesus, and i'm sure we felt his presence last night.

ok i'm forming the committee for eXcess eXhaustified eXhibition 2007. i'll let yall know tonight at H2O. chea.

2006-11-26T02:22:00.000+08:00

today was just mad tiring for me. matt, sam, liang bao, malcolm, debra and i went to mos on friday. it was a good night but damn i had to pay $28 for entry cos i went there after meeting with edward, mel, nick, chris, marc and jem to watch TENACIOUS D. that movie was crap lah. though i had to say it was funny and entertaining. only an hour and a half, not much of a story line, but the humour was there....jack black lol......"stay where you are" "catch me if you can" haha.....
after i got my ticket stub after paying $28 at mos i lost it. i didnt get a single drink there. so it was clubbing with no alcohol. it feels so strange, suddenly i could think clearly. haha but shit money was wasted..... we only left mos at 430, proceeded to mac to refuel our bodies. we sat down and talked, and i listened to malcolm and debra rattle on about school issues. i wish i was back in CJC. sam matt and i then reached home around 8 and i played tennis straight after haha. cass and alphons came over and we played from 9 to 11. my legs were gone after that, add in the scorching heat of the sun. nothing much happened after that, had lunch and went to queensway with alphons...went out for dinner and dota with sam, matt, ping, gerrit, dan and jin hao. jin hao was unbelieveable in dota. mad insane assasin lol. ended the day with a few sticks and it's now time to hibernate.

2006-11-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch

Taking hold, breaking in
The pressures on, need to circulate
Mesmerized and taken in
Moving slow, so it resonates
It's time to rest, not to sleep away
My thoughts alone, try to complicate
I'll do my best, to seek you out
And be myself, not impersonate

Tried so hard to not walk away
And when things don't go my way
I'll still carry on and on just the same

I've always been strong
But can't make this happen
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
The fear of becoming
I'm so tired of running
And I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
I want to breathe you in

I'm going in, so cover me
Your compass will, help me turn the page
The laughing stock I'll never be
Because I won't let them take me

Took awhile to see all the love that's around me
Through the highs and lows there's a truth that I've known
And it's You

Nice song to chill to. meaningful lyrics.

2006-11-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

went to play basketball just now. my stamina has definitely deteriorated. what can i say. i'm used to doing half a pack a day now lol. and it's mostly reds. anyway met these two boys at the court and played two on one with them. of course i lost lah. haha. damn i was panting like crazy. prolly played a total of twenty points or so. it's a good feeling to be balling again. i need to get a new ball soon. chea.

2006-11-23T15:57:00.000+08:00

it's 4pm and i'm sitting at my office desk just waiting for time to pass. all the officers aren't in except for boss. slack day man. woot. that's why i created this blog. okay i downloaded the skin but yea at least the rest is customised haha. i'll try my hand at designing shit like this in the near future. keep yo eyes peeled.
it'll be a good way for me to get over boredom and keep myself busy from thinking about shit. i've been harboring this depression long enough. can't seem to forget her cos the feelings ran really deep. i guess it was the connection we had but alas it was lost too easily. was it my fault things had to turn out this way? i could have influenced it but i chose not to. it's been a year and a half and it's killing me softly. i'll never know if the feelings were ever mutual, if those actions were ever hints, and if i ever stood a chance after the opportunity was gone, but i guess it's kinda late now. so i'm praying, giving life to this cell group i've developed a passion for, and the people (i hear cheers from the Cashew Fam) who have made living much more fluid for me. thanks for giving a fuck. i really appreciate it. as for her i wish her all the best in uni. what's meant to be will be and we will know why in the end, cos i really don't have a clue.
man, the rest of the guys here are gonna ORD! and i've still got 7 months left on the bandwagon. blame my broken arm. the metal plate makes for nice costume jewelry though lol. i'm gonna miss you guys, especially george, hoe jyh and danny at mindef, yongping, jinghao, samuel, ben, thomas, eugene, you zhi and my branch IC who's gonna post back to mindef. God knows what's gonna happen to COT when she's gone. a fucking sturdy pillar of strength, i guess she is why our branch has pulled through thus far.
on a less nostalgic note, i've got the year end trip to perth to look forward to. about a week and a half on holiday. yea. don't need to bother about shaving everyday and getting haircuts. i'll be on leave from 12th to 22nd december. woot.

my twilight will come long after yall's man. enjoy, you bastards.

2006-11-23T12:32:00.000+08:00

by the way you can click on the 'excess forum' link on the right if you're interested in knowing what we do at our cell group

2006-11-23T12:19:00.000+08:00

two days ago i attended my cell group weekly meeting. man i've never felt the spirit of God move so strongly before. it was a little different from the weekly session we would normally have on tuesdays. this time it was meant to be a praise and worship, praying over session. nick and i prayed over a couple of people, nicole, celestine, peter, natalie, eugene, alphonsus...it was a new experience for me cos i've never really laid hands on someone while praying with all my heart. somehow i could feel the struggles, the hurt and the sadness in them and i cried. it was just amazing, what a night man, what a night. and i thank God that Chris and Natalie got touched. I pray God continues to provide for them. towards the end of the session, Jo came over and prayed over me. next thing i knew i was pushed and i fell into the hands (luckily) of the other members who supported me. i guess God took my faith to another level that night. sometimes people want explanations which can verify that God is alive, but for me it's more of knowing and feeling that he is. you just gotta be sensitive to the things that happen to you.

2006-11-23T12:05:00.000+08:00

first i'd like to thank my mom for sponsoring me a notebook. a macbook pro. woot. and it cost so much less than the original cost price, but i'm not gonna reveal why. at first my mom and i agreed to buy a laptop only when i enter NUS, but she decided to buy it now anyway, cos that special offer would not have been around for long. it adds to the dj setup i already have at home, next step is gettin the software, now that's gonna cost a bomb. i can barely save a hundred a month, and that thing's gonna cost me 1k. somebody give me a loan, or just give me some money. lol. if someone knows where to get old school hiphop records pls let me know? right now i'm just going back to the roots of hiphop. there's so much new school stuff nowadays, a visit back into the rich culture and history of hiphop would remind me of how it gave birth to it's own personality and the stake it now owns on the music scene's turf. hey matt i wana copy of eminem's new album.

2006-11-23T11:13:00.001+08:00

welcome to my blog folks